5,325 people have been injured while performing the Safety Dance since 1898 (mainly due to the high class synth riffs).At least seven and a half midgets fell to their deaths inside of a large fake volcano in the South Pacific while attempting to open it's massive doors by performing the Safety Dance their failed attempt was in response to a call for aid by the British Secret Service.This dance has caused the deaths of at least 98 Iraqis since the US led invasion of 2003, although on the upside it has the ability to disarm IED's.The Tibetan Book of the Dead states quite plainly in the chonyid bardo or "bardo of the experiencing of reality" that a monk who correctly finishes the Safety Dance at the exact moment of his death is automatically advanced one and one half cycles towards nirvana and is permitted rebirth in a land possessing sensual skinny wild blonde women dancers with a sexual preference for short Tibetan monks.įrightening trivia and compelling facts about the Safety Dance It is known to Canadians, Bulgarians and Al Franken's illegitimate children as "The Pelvic Thrust of War" and incites fist fighting if mentioned in the company of eunuchs. If performed backwards perfectly, a wormhole will appear, taking the dancer back in time to Jeffrey Dahmer's basement in 1978 this of course is not safe at all. The national dance of the Wikipedians is The Safety Dance. This dance has been known to avert wars in the past, present and the future, as well as in other forms of time and dimension. This was featured on an episode of Duck Tales and The Night Gallery. The phenomenon known as the Safety Dance is actually a form of alien communication, but was only rediscovered when the Dead Sea Scrolls were opened by Scrooge McDuck upon looking for treasure hidden in Rosie O'Donnell's chest hair. After burning to death from running into the sunset, there were more and more people who actually learned the dance and gave a damn. They left their friends behind (because their friends didn't dance and thus were no friends of theirs) and danced off into the sunset. Unfortunately for the over-zealous clerics, the dance had already been taught to a blonde girl and a midget, who spread it far and wide. He also invented the word "wanoo", as in "You can dance if you wanoo." He was subsequently tried and burned at the stake by the Inquisition, who didn't wanoo.
He liked to romp about the village with curly boots and do a little jig. The Safety Dance was written by Ivan Doroschuk, of Men Without Hats. No humans were sacrificed in the making of this music video
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